Low Libido or the Sexless Marriage


Sexuality among reptiles

Cold-blooded reptiles get the cold shoulder from time to time, too.

The Medical Approach to the Sexless Marriage

My partner. . . .Long-term monogamy . . . Weight gain . . . Aging . . . All of these get blamed for a lack of sexual desire. Unfortunately, too often, these are innocent targets.


Misinformation gets passed as quickly as gossip. Men—who can fall victim to sexual myths faster than women—are often unaware that hormones play a crucial role in their sexual desire. Women, too, have hormonal issues that can be rectified.

We start by examining the patient, and then ordering lab tests. If testosterone, estrogen or other crucial hormones have dropped, we’ll know it. We discuss treatment options, tailoring them to current medical issues and patient comfort.  With minor adjustments, clients usually find that low libido improves.

The Psychological Approach to the Sexless Marriage

When people come to us explaining that they have low libido or an overall lack of sexual desire, they often find they need to re-understand desire. Cultural Myths can often throw roadblocks up to healthy intimacy. Often it only takes an experienced, outside perspective to clarify messages inhibiting sexuality.

One of the biggest sexual myths today is that spontaneity creates the best sex. Men often want to be spontaneous and resist planning.  Women can be hesitant as well. When the planning becomes a collaborative adventure, both begin anticipating the “intimate erotic play” strategies they learn through the therapy process.  First we examine what each person would like to experience in their intimate romancing. We also explore any resistance points. Finally, we talk about possible exercises and scenarios they may want to experience. These activities make up a couple’s “homework.”  No boring list of spelling words, this!